My audition/jury is tomorrow morning and I very well prepared and I am not worried but I keep trying to figure out how to self-care after I don't get in and I'm not sure what that means.
This time tomorrow I'll know.
My choir director told me I would have been dissuaded if they didn't want me in the program. That they wouldn't have me starting my coursework already or being friendly or teaching me. And I knew that but it made a big difference hearing it from him.
I want this so badly. I want this so so badly. I have pretended for a long time that I don't want to sing and that music isn't 100% essential to my life and so much depends on this twenty minute thing tomorrow, on like fourteen minutes of music and it matters so much this is so big for me.
I am not afraid but goddamn I have no idea what I will do if I don't get into this program.
