My last post was decidedly unhappy. Why? Why should I ever again be deliberately negative? What is it with negativity and cynicism and disagreeing and resistance that is so.... I don't know what I'm asking.
I decided something, right now. I will be happy. And I know that is easier said than done. I know things are about to get... interesting, at best. Interesting at least. At best, things will be wonderful. I have some important decisions to make and I don't have a clue how I'm going to figure it out, but it'll be fine. It will be fine. Anxiety will do me no good whatsoever.
I just came home from the AMC. This movie marks the official beginning of the official end of my childhood. This is very bittersweet for me. I'm afraid to move on, but I am so very excited for change. I will put my best foot forward even if I don't quite know where I'll end up. left, left, left. Faith is knowing the stars still shine on cloudy nights.
This season has been better than anything I could have asked for. Even though somewhere in the second movement we got mixed up. That moment there was indescribable. I am so honored to have been a part of this year's band. I just.... I can't even put into words how truly grateful I am. Thank you.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
I really hoped this would be a different post tonight.
Unfortunately, no. 101 will be decidedly UNhappy.
So.
What is it about being angry that is so childish? Or, what is it about being childish that is so bad? When you're little and someone is mean to you, you push them. Maybe they fall down and get hurt. OH WELL. They were mean, you were mean back. Even. Balance. Karma.
I am trying so hard not to swear right now. This is ridiculous. Anyway.
Children, as I say quite often, are the most pure, most exposed human beings in the world. They say exactly what they feel. They do exactly what they want.
Why am I not allowed to feel things? Why am I not allowed to be angry? Or hurt? Or SPITEFUL.
Apparently, feelings are childish. MY bad. I should probably just be a robot. Then maybe I could stay in time! What a concept!
P.S. The little bitch inside me plans to read the entire book tonight. Just for spite.
So.
What is it about being angry that is so childish? Or, what is it about being childish that is so bad? When you're little and someone is mean to you, you push them. Maybe they fall down and get hurt. OH WELL. They were mean, you were mean back. Even. Balance. Karma.
I am trying so hard not to swear right now. This is ridiculous. Anyway.
Children, as I say quite often, are the most pure, most exposed human beings in the world. They say exactly what they feel. They do exactly what they want.
Why am I not allowed to feel things? Why am I not allowed to be angry? Or hurt? Or SPITEFUL.
Apparently, feelings are childish. MY bad. I should probably just be a robot. Then maybe I could stay in time! What a concept!
P.S. The little bitch inside me plans to read the entire book tonight. Just for spite.
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