It's incredible to me
how easily I give myself up.
how easily I give up on myself.
how safe I thought I was.
how quickly one becomes paranoid.
that I haven't actually cried this whole year.
how I might have laughed too. if I were you.
how readily I believe
how we study so closely those we conspire to harm
and then how we avert our gaze, stare pointedly in the other direction, refuse to look at the broken remains of our little jokes
out of sight, out of mind
(given that what I see when I dream hurts like hell and back)
It is incredibly easy to keep a clear conscience.
Don'tlookback.
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