Like I've said, being up alone in the dead of night gives me this weird strength, a sort of weary disdain toward the opinions of anyone I could piss off. And while I enjoy the feeling of being able to conquer the world single-handedly, it's always in the back of my mind that I'm going to reach the top all by myself. It's very lonely.
There is a feeling you get when you're awake in the wee hours of the morning surrounded by people you love, by people who love you. It's like your soul is right there in front of everyone, like you're naked. The name of the game is vulnerability but. Everyone is naked, so it's okay. There comes a moment when people just start saying things, the most ridiculous things with the most incoherent, ridiculous words, and everybody just sits there knowing exactly what everyone means.
I didn't cry. I just watched the faces of all the seniors. It was weird. No one really believed they were sitting there in front of everyone. It was this night last year that gave me a good reason to do drama, and it was last night that is making me question whether I should try for Advanced. Because I want that. I want to sit with you all and feel it. I don't want to be outside looking in anymore. I want a waste of a period everyday.
There's a moment in Follow That Dream. Two beats of bass drum that I feel in the deepest part of me, the ritardando into that last verse. #tears
The tears in your eyes... you have my heart.
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