Smile-weeping. That's a thing now. A good thing. I'm going to have a major catharsis tonight. And I'm going to have a crick in my neck from letting it tilt so much this evening. I don't know what this is. It makes sense though. No conflict. No guilt, not right now. Or, not so present right now. I hope again one day to see you bring your smile back around again. I'm going to get through band just fine tomorrow. Even though you're in a different section and you're in Massachusetts and neither of you can hold my hand when I'm by myself... I'll be fine. The freshmen will be sweet and so will I. This will be a good season.
I don't know. I've said that more times in the past few days than I can remember saying all year. And funny enough, I don't mind saying it. I don't feel self-conscious of not knowing with you. I bruise easily and often, but I don't worry about saying why I did this dumb thing or that to cause it. And I got out a story tonight, which I have not been able to do at all for about three weeks now. 11.11. But I already used the word radiant for you, so where's my thesaurus?
I still suck a lot. But. I don't feel like a complete failure right now, which is kind of a nice change.
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