Tainted

I. The insecurities I’ve held beneath my skin since I walked into Deadrock are running rampant. I feel them in the blanket of scars covering my arms, bleeding out inside me.
a. For something that felt like a lifetime, (seven minutes), I truly believed that you thought I was worth more than the stars at the tips of our fingers. Perhaps that’s why they’ve crossed me so.
b. I was tempted to scream “I love you” at the slate afternoon to see if I could ever be loud enough for you to hear me. But in a year, it has never reached far enough. My voice is tired of berating the retreating sunlight.
c. For an hour, I sat still in a place reserved for panic in a home that is no longer mine. I listened as the rhythmic lesson in self-worth floated to the floor of my mind.
d. (I have known you as the sky itself. I believed in you as one may believe in creation or the end of the world.)
 - When I needed a place to hide from the constant beating of the sun and rain, cracks appeared in the floors and walls, and dissonance leaked into the home of resolution I made for myself.
 - ‘Safe’ is but a small word for immeasurable illusions.
 - I have nowhere left to go.