You're just a kid, and you don't understand.

Okay. So.
I hear that on tv shows. And you've said things that might suggest that. But.
I have never heard those words. Not from you, not from anyone. And I never thought that would be assumed of me. Not outside school at least.

When I said don't push. I meant don't push. If I had meant let people walk all over you, I would have said it.
HOLD YOUR GROUND.
And maybe I am a little kid in some places, and there are definitely times when I don't actually get it.

But dammit I've got it where it counts.
I know that. You know it's true, don't lie to me. Or to yourself.
How many teenagers can say that and be telling the truth?

...

Exactly.


Now. When you're a little kid, you think and feel things, but do not realize their significance. In elementary school, it really mattered what my teachers thought of me. I'd be bashful and shy around them, but they were SO IMPORTANT. I mean, I had to impress them. Not academically, I already could do that without much effort. But as a person. I had to stand out to them. And I would think about what if they saw me do that, or heard me say this. I always wanted them to come see me play softball, or soccer. Whatever it was I was doing. I wanted them to be proud of me specifically. Mrs. Okamura, Ms. Ross, Ms. Huckabay, Ms. Eick. And I always felt weird about it. Everyone else thought Mr. Harris was oh so cute, and I didn't pay much attention. Middle school was similar except that it was people instead of teachers, for the most part. The science teacher though, and the math teacher, to a point. Celebrities too. Not how you'd think. Not Megan Fox, that bitch is stupid. More like Tina Fey. I mean.
I can't be sure. But.
Probably.