I'm not too sure how to start this post. Or how to react to what happened today. This morning they announced that a student had lost his life. I hear it was suicide, but no one has come right out and said it, not officially. This is something I was not prepared to be faced with in high school. Honestly. I read about things like this in books and newspapers all the time, but I never really considered the possibility of it happening so close to home. I mean, he was in the drama department, a junior. I did not know him personally, but it is clear that he was a great guy by the reaction of the arts department students. I have now seen the action of literally bursting into tears. I've never seen so many people crying in one day, and I hope I never have to again. I came close to tears myself, just because of the overwhelming nature of the whole thing. What bothered me though, is how the majority of the school was in no way affected by this at all. Truly. The way people just acted as though nothing had even happened angered me more than the people who pretended it affected them just for the attention. I hate people so much sometimes. We can't we, as a whole, just drop our incredibly stupid, materialistic problems and LOOK AROUND. Our world is composed of others! Not just you! Is it so impossible to put aside our needs for one damn second and think of something other than ourselves? Apparently not. I really don't know anything right now. Nothing in my mind is sure. And I am scared to death that it could be someone I love, one of my friends. Which is entirely selfish, but then again grief itself is just about the most selfish emotion there is, so I feel slightly better about it. At the same time, I feel awful. I think about how easily a life is ended, how abruptly the tune of vitality is silenced. I am terrified right now.
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